Sunday, October 22, 2006

Top 10 October Surprises Awaiting John Yarmuth's Campaign from Anne Northup

You just know that Annie is saving up something to run in the last two weeks of the campaign. I did some digging on my own and I would like to suggest Anne use these scandalous items in the final weeks.

10) "John Yarmuth" played backwards at half speed underwater on a record player sounds suspiciously like the Arabic phrase for cross dressing terrorist.
9) John often takes a penny, but seldom leaves a penny at convenience store cash registers.
8) John is actually the one who shot JR.
7) The liberal Yarmuth believes it is okay for cats and dogs to sleep together.
6) John loves watching thespians work.
5) There are numerous accounts of John masticating in several local restaurants, and even at home in front of his kids.
4) John once defenistrated from an open window.
3) John went through the express lane of his local Kroger two items over the limit.
2) The unkind Yarmuth returned tapes to Blockbuster 14 times in ten years without them being rewound, resulting in numerous fines.
1) Yarmuth is responsible for the shortage of Elmo TMX dolls at local retailers.

Yeah and Northup was accused of being a pneumismatist.
and a Philatilist
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